It wasn’t long ago when I was out of town for a breather. I was at an old café when I found myself having a conversation with a total stranger on the progress we’ve made as a country on gender equality. I’ll call this stranger David. The status quo on this issue is debatable and different from person to person according to individual morals and values, not to leave out the exposure of one. David was fairly a good conversationalist and more of a feminist than I expected. I know you’re probably thinking I’m so judgmental; well no, it was just an opinion which anyone is entitled to. It’s the opinion you don’t always have to express.
I won’t bore you with the “Gender Equality Talk” thus I’d like to just emphasize that it’s from these mere talks that we connect with the world outside of our understandings, surroundings and experiences. It’s from these talks that we imagine how we fit into the world and how as an individual we can make an impact in another’s life. It is during these moments when we can be. It is also from these very talks that we realize how much we do not know of our capabilities. I got the greatest surprise in that moment of how very likely we are to trust a total stranger with the deepest things that matter to us. David was willing to let me be a mentor to six very young girls I’d never met before. Two of the girls are his nieces and the other friends of his nieces.
The few minutes we spent discussing about the controversial topic of gender equality was enough time for him to trust that I could help a child seeking mentorship and do a really great job at it. What surprised me the most was the fact that David trusted me because I am a woman. He made it clear to me during the conversation that a woman would be ideal. I'm saddened by the pressure women are put in. The choices the are given to influence society. I’ve never pictured myself anyone’s mentor, let alone think I could mentor before turning 30 and achieving all of my personal goals. Many people seeking all sorts of satisfactions who would have found themselves in such a situation could most likely agree to such a request because of the rise of their dopamine released in that second. I said, “No I have no time to put aside on the schedule for the young girls this year”. I really have none and my focus now is getting myself a good stable mentor and not to be one myself.
We are in a very fast world where opportunities to be anything and anyone come to us so unexpected. Are we qualified and genuinely interested to perform them? In many cases, we really do not give a damn and it is okay to say no! It is okay not to follow trends. We can be content by just being ourselves and we can make a difference in our own chosen way manner. We do not necessarily need to help whenever asked just because we are women. Women are not the only care takers in the world. All genders are capable of doing a great job at mentorship/care-giving.
I had an “AHA!” moment; a self-realization second of how I’ve learnt to prioritize and focus on what matters for the present stage in my life. I’ve learnt to always consider my Enlightened Self-Interest yet remain humble. There are so many happenings and cravings of some sense of belonging for many people if not everyone but it’s also important to do what matters most, to set appropriately achievable priorities. It’s important to say no and “no” in a manner that is free of guilt. It’s liberating. I hope “your stranger moments” are as awakening and truthful. Take care of yourself first as a human being and as a woman.
