A Woman Liberating

Having Independence as a woman means freedom and opportunities to infinite paths of life. It means that as a woman you are free to think, speak and act as you wish, of course keeping in mind that you are not more special than other human beings. I am very much for the idea that each one be independent in our journeys of life. Most importantly for woman due to the much mistreat they experience because of their gender and dependency. In this piece of writing I want to share with you what it means to be an Independent Woman.

Many people think that being independent is solely defined by finances or having it all together. One may be independent and still sorting out one’s life. It just means that I do not entirely rely on anyone to provide for my basic needs or wants. It means that on my own, I can afford my sanity, safe shelter, three meals a day, transportation to work/home/school or that I may wish to go to. But there are also many times I lack to provide for myself as an Independent woman and that is why it is okay for an independent woman to ask for help. It is okay to lack and seek. It also means that I may help provide for others too, but first ensure I am sorted before everyone else. This is not being selfish. I understand that independence is possible for everyone and I preach to those close to be about it. Therefore, I expect them to practice independence or work towards being independent.

During the COVID19 lockdown a few cases of GBV (Gender Based Violence) had been recorded in our country and majority of the victims are female. It is not because of the lockdown that women are being abused by their partners/males. Many women are physically, sexually and mentally abused in various environments including work, home, school and even commercial places throughout their lives. This is an ongoing trouble that women have been battling. In fact, some have accepted it as a way of life. To be abused and to abuse.

People deal with negative emotions and scenarios differently. And sometimes it means self-destruction, being abused or abusing others. It is important to realize that you are in one of these scenarios in order to fix it. Fixing it means fixing yourself. It means getting out of such an environment or speaking out. It means letting go and healing. Many women are not able to do this- fixing the negative situation. Because they are not able to fend for themselves. Their mental health does not allow them to think clearly, it sometimes it means not realizing the harmful situations they are in.

Being independent means wanting to be informed and seeking professional help when needed. It means that I can freely and comfortably see a counsellor or psychologist for a good mental health. It is important for me to know that there is good in the world and I must seek it. Because I am independent, I can decide to leave an abusive relationship or decide to get help to fix the situation in a healthy manner. Furthermore, I can afford myself and a start over.

In these uncertain times where people randomly lose their jobs and get no pay rises, it is illogical for a woman to be dependent. I find it strange that there are still women who do not crave to own and provide for themselves. I am also saddened that many women are not well informed on independence. It does not necessarily mean that I need to be employed for me to be independent. I do not have to be single or educated to be considered independent. I just need to want to and act to fend myself. I can be a housewife with an income and property. It may mean that I have worked and invested my money before partnership. It may mean that I get an allowance from my partner that I invest to multiply for myself and family. It may mean that I have no qualification, but I make informed decisions for my independence.

It would be injustice to not discuss what independence means for the girl child, one that is still under the care of parents/guardians. It starts with knowing your Human Rights so that you are not mistreated. It means knowing that you are capable to achieve anything you put your mind to. An independent child should know that learning and questioning the status quo is important. Education is important whether it is formal or informal, practical, technical or theoretical. It means acquiring skills and resources that will help you for a lifetime. It means being obedient and discipline while learning and being informed. It may mean being a young entrepreneur, money saver and investor and focusing on education. Do not be afraid to speak up and seek help when necessary. Rebuke any type of abuse and report it to relevant people that you trust or not necessarily know such as the police/social workers/community leaders/ChildLine. You should always aim for good and to improve your situations. You can take care of your mental and physical health, engage in positive thinking and physical exercise. You are important to bring about change and development in your life and community.

My quest is that women are encouraged to fend for themselves and are allowed the opportunities that aid in their independence. It is important for women to be independent in all aspects especially mentally and financially. I am a very independent young woman and I love it. I am glad that I seek ways to give me tools to be independent. I love that information is vastly available for me to make the right decisions. 

In conclusion, all women can be independent. It reduces the risks of being abused, mistreated and unconsidered. It evidently flows into our families, friends and communities. It allows healthy relationships and co-existence. It is liberating. Women must have their own properties, make their own money and have their own voices.